Thursday, January 3, 2008

not my new years resolution

I notice most of my e-friends are doing their New Year's Resolutions thing, so I thought I'd do something similar. Mind you, as a general rule, I hate NYR - it works in the way that it makes people think and set goals, but it's only done once a year and most people forget it a month later. And it's no blight on them, but it's just generally hard to get goals that are that long term. If we're being realistic, people should have Quarterly Resolutions. I mean, if you want to do something, do it now, don't wait until the New Year.

So, my list of "things I wanna do right fucking now":

1. Eat better -it's no secret that I've put on a good 15kgs since moving to Melbourne (what can I say, Melbourne does fucking good chicken parmas and even better beers). I've slipped back into the "convenience" eating - whether that convenience be the ease of making a meal at home or buying take-out from somewhere nearby, or thinking "I'm low on cash, why not just spend $5 a get a Maccas meal"

2. Drink Less Beer - This will probably make a few people on my f'list weep, but I need to drink less beer. I'm going to finish my "101 Club" at Lambsgo Barr, but then once that's done, I'm going to seriously decrease my beer intake. I'm not going to cut down on drinking, just going to be more mindful of the booze I choose (hey, that rhymes!).

3. Play The Trumpet Again - No, that's not a sex metaphor. I got my brother to clean my trumpet over Christmas (that's also not a sex metaphor - he works for a music store that not only does sales, but does servicing too), so now I don't really have an excuse to not start playing again. Plus one of Smelly's mates the other day was telling me that he wants to put together a dirty funk/rock/ska/Motown type band, which excites me no end.

4. Ride My Bike More - I bought a fucking expensive (well, expensive on my budget) bike a few months back, and I've barely touched it lately. Being in the city is a bitch, because I'm instantly in the bitchy and angry city drivers, so I pretty much only like riding on the weekends. We're moving house in a month or so, looking to go a bit further out. Further out of the city = less traffic = more likelihood of me riding more frequently.

5. Get more tattoos - I have far too much skin that's still uninked. I need to change that. I know what my next one's going to be (stay tuned!)

6. Be a better fiancé - I'm not a bad fiancé at all. In fact, I'd say I'm a pretty good catch. However, there's always shit that I can do to make things better, just simple stuff like offering to do more chores at home, organise to do more stuff with just the two of us.

And now to reflect on the 12 months just gone....

If there was something that really stuck out with me in 2007, probably will continue to stay with me. It's a story about something I saw a few months back. It's a really good story that I want to share with you guys...

As you may remember, I did some volunteer work with Reach Out's Heroes program, working with young kids and giving them something fun and inspiring for those who don't exactly have the best lives. It was a great day for me, because there's so much that rang true about my life and things I went through, and to a certain extent, things that I still go through today. At the start of the day, the kids picked out someone who was the biggest bully of their school and did a trust exercise with them to demonstrate how they make other people feel when they pick on them. They then talked to The Bully and he explained about his life growing up and showed that that's possibly why he is who he is. Then they did a shit-load of other stuff throughout the day, but at the end of the day, they got people who hadn't participated in any of the activities to stand up, grab a mic and talk about their favourite part of the day. Most people said non-memorable stuff, and were things like "i liked how brave everyone was to expose their private lives like that" blah blah, but then this one kid got up and said that the bit that stuck out the most for him was the activity with The Bully at the start, and he said "... and it's kinda strange, because it's almost like he had the exact same life that I had growing up" and the guy who was hosting the session missed this kid's point completely and said "oh right, so you understand some of his actions?" and the kid said "no, no, not at all - we had the same life growing up, but I'm NOTHING like you". The guy who was hosting then unfortunately missed a great point and just moved on, but that one comment just stuck with me.

Then a few weeks after that, I was talking to Filtercore about that day, and we got onto the subject of how there are some people who have fucked up shit happen to them as a child, and there are people who have fucked up shit happen to them as a child, who continue to almost feed off that misery, and that that one event has moulded who they are. We both agreed and in turn, we told each other a deep dark secret about some fucked up shit we went through that we'd never told the other person or even really many other people at all (it was a beautiful bonding experience :P) and we both realised how similar we both were in that way of how we don't let certain events own us in such a negative way.

Then a few weeks ago, I bought a book on eBay, and when it arrived, there was also this really nice beeswax type paper, and on it was an old Chinese proverb that says:

"It is not what life does to you that is important, but what you do with what life does to you."

I dunno, but getting that randomly in the mail like that, especially given the year I'd just had, sent shivers down my spine.

So, in the words of Buck 65, "I want you all to follow your dreams .... except for the one where you give birth to a cat. That's just creepy."

Sunday, November 18, 2007

mo-induced depression

wow, I really did drop the ball on the whole "posting everyday" thing, huh!

Sorry about that, I've been a little distracted lately though. I do have a good reason though - remember last week how it was my birthday? Well, another significant even happened too...

I proposed to my girlfriend, and she said yes.

I had about 20ish of my closest friends at my local pub for the celebration. We bought the birthday cake out, everyone sang, and I did the whole "say a few words", and thanked everyone for coming, telling them all how special they are to me, then directed the praise towards my girlfriend, and twisted it into a proposal! I was so nervous at the time, I honestly couldn't tell you what I said, but I do remember my brain saying to me "stop rambling, just bloody ask the question!". I asked, she said yes, we hugged, everyone cheered.

But, I guess this is a MOvember related blog, so back to the mo'.....

I, and others around me, are starting to hit a Mo wall. The first week or so the novelty of seeing what everyone was doing hit hard, and it was all laughs, watching everyone's progression. But now most of the guys at my work have a fairly decent mo, and it appears as thought they won't get much more than where they're at, and a lot of us are getting antsy. Personally, I'm starting to look beyond MOvember, and seeing what the future holds. I had a beard when I started, so will I go back to that? Will I keep the handlebars? Will I ever go clean-shaven again? Have I found another look that I'm starting to like? Who really did shoot Mr. Burns? Those questions and more, after the break....

Friday, November 9, 2007

Mo Mo Mo Your Boat

I have to make sure that I post today, because I doubt that I'll post much on the weekend. And why?

Because tomorrow it's my birthday! Huzzah! (for those of you playing along at home, I'll be turning 28)

Tomorrow I'm having a bit of a shindig at my favourite Melbourne bar. Naturally, it'll be a lot of mates standing around, talking shit, drinking too much, chatting to girls who normally wouldn't give a second glimpse in the street, telling jokes and probably singing a little louder than we would've 6 beers earlier.

However, with a lot of my mates, one thing has dawned on a few of them. I've got a couple of emails this week with variants of:

"uhh, hey dude. You're still in on the Movember thing right? I hope so, because I'm doing Movember this year, and I've got a pretty weak moustache so far, and I just wanna make sure I'm not the only one".

So it's probably bound to be almost a repeat of my 15th birthday when we were all trying to grow facial hair for the first time.

I'll see how many photos I can get ;)

Sponsor Me! I mean, come on, it IS my birthday!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Everybody Loves Ray-- uhh, i mean, Bogans

I got a comment in my previous entry about the "Hitler Moustache", which Julia posted to a Vanity Fair article (which also has the same image I used. Hmmm ... I wonder if they search for material with Google Images too?). In the article, the writer decided to grow a Hitler Moustache as an experiment while talking about Hitler (to be honest, I didn't read the whole thing, so I don't know what the conclusion was), but over the last day or two with discussions from others, as well as seeing other Mo-Bros and their progression, there's another that hits the list.

The Handlebar Moustache.

It's the mo' that is pretty much associated with bogans and bikies. Yet, I think I have a theory that given the chance, every man would like one. I know nobody with a handlebar (mind you, I live down the road from a Harley shop, so I see my fair share each day), yet in the past week, they're everywhere. I'm sporting one this month, and I know a few other mates doing the same. Another friend of mine noted that there's about 5 guys in his company sporting them too, so now his staff meetings are more like a H-Block reunion party than a business conference.

So, I wish to throw out a challenge to my Mo Bros - after MOvember, I say hang onto that handlebar moustache. Wear it thick and with pride.

It's time to take the handlebar back.

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Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Mo-Watch : At The Movies

Okay, so I didn't post yesterday, but that was mainly due to my 32k ride that I did. It may be nothin' to some of you, but for this Mo Bro', it's the most exercise I've done in a very long time.

But tonight, I went to the movies, and spied a couple of very nice mo's. Not in the crowd - in the movie. Mo-Watch at the movies presents:

30 Days Of Night

Now, aside from the fact that the movie had zero plot, the token black guy still doesn't make it to the end of the movie, Josh Hartnet's agent still insists on him playing grizzly old men to which he's anything but, plot holes that were too numerous to count and Melissa George's character, who was so stupid I could've reached into the screen and slapped her. There was also some good bits, but I'll refrain from giving away the good bits.

There was one sensational mo'. You can't tell from the photo, but the guy above does have a sweet skinny mo across his top lip. Matched up with his cheap black suit, and he's quite the goth-emo-boy on his way to see Marilyn Manson because 'nobody else understands him'. Josh does a fairly nice little mo that's matched with some stubble (I'm guessing it took him a good month or two to get it), and his side-kick who looked like a hairy version of Tom Morello. This movie has something for everyone that loves facial hair.

I give it 2 handlebars out of five:

Monday, November 5, 2007

a nod's as good as a wink

well, what a difference a day makes. I went from having unrecognisable stubble, gave it a good night's rest and after the shave in the morning. Now I'm starting to kinda see where it's going. And it looks like everyone else is in the same boat. It's become a secret men's club.

You pass guys in the local supermarket, around the building at work, and you see another guy with shitty stubble, and he notices yours and you give each other a little nod and a polite smile. One guy even said to me "that's comin' along nicely" as he passed me in the bakery section of Coles. Normally I would've seen that as a come-on, but now, it's a cool club that I'm a part of. It's a bit dorky, but yeah, it kinda feels like we're all Stonecutters or something.

Tomorrow is another test of the mo'. I'm going with a couple of mates in the morning to ride along the Yarra Trail. It's 33km up along the Yarra River, but it should be fun, plus I'll see how aerodynamic the new look is.

.... that's if my fitness levels allow me to make it.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

facial update...

Well I figure it's time for me to give an update on how I'm going with MOvember. Usually I'm a fairly hirsute guy, but I must say, it's getting to the end of Day 4, and I'm a little disappointed with the little activity that's goin' on. If you'll excuse the fact I took this early Sunday morning before any form of caffeine had passed my lips, this is my shocking growth levels...

I've still gotta have a shave, so hopefully it'll be a bit more noticeable once I've shaved the rest of my face, but still, not as fast as I thought I'd be growing.

In other good news, I'm a quarter of the way to my $1,000 target! Huzzah!

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Saturday, November 3, 2007

don't forget your toothpaste

So I've been talking lately about what style of mo' that everyone's going to go with. The good old Handlebars is a popular look, some going for a bit more of a porno mo', others going for a bit of a thinner version. But yet nobody I know is going the Toothbrush

It was once a sign of class and style. It was a very high society style of mo' and all the businessmen about town wore them with pride. Charlie Chaplin even had one, as did whichever the fat one is between Laurel & Hardy. Then suddenly another guy came along sporting this look, and suddenly the toothbrush moustache became almost a sign of evil and suddenly it was very un-PC to have one. Who ruined this look?


Sure, he gassed and tortured a couple of jews here and there, but let's look at the true crime - destroying the coolness of facial hair that is the quiant toothbrush moustache. It's barely a mo' at all. Small, and very low maintenance. Personally, I'd love to grow a toothbrush moustache, but oh no, that's a look that I've been talked out of many times in the last week. Yet somehow the same style, but one lip down, call it a 'soul patch' and suddenly it's fashionable again.

Screw you, Hitler, you mo' wrecking bastard.

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Friday, November 2, 2007

it's a long way to the top if you wanna rock a mo'

Well, today is day 2.

I'm not liking this bare-faced look at all. My girlfriend sat staring at me on the couch for most of the night saying "you look so young" over and over again.

My desk at work is near the front door, so almost everyone that walked in that morning commented on my lack of beardness. I've also been compared to Ricky Gervais, which is slightly disturbing.

The stubble is starting to show a bit better, so the weekend will no doubt be spent playing around with a few different design ideas. I'm thinking I might try the Jules Winfield look (see the pic on the right), but whether my genetics will let me, is another issue. Time will tell

The Boonie Boys is up to $530 all up, with another 1 or 2 Mo Bro's who are signing up today.

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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend...

Let me just say that I have a really thick beard. A few fellow beardoes that I know, some of them have quite soft facial hair. Not me. I'm thinking of gathering up all my beard trimmings, gluing them all together and using them to scrub the pots and pans tonight after dinner.

So, I've decided that in preparation for tomorrow's "unveiling", I'm going to shave in two parts - a rough draft tonight, then in the morning, crank out the Schick that I posted about yesterday and smooth everything out. To get me used to have no beard, I've gone very slowly...

wish me luck!

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